The first five years of Dominic’s life, I had a lot of jealously around other families that could get up and go do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. I was jealous they could go to birthday parties, stores, sporting events, and other outings without a care in the world. I would look on in awe and of course jealousy. I would be happy for my friends and their families but at the end of the day it made me feel like we were missing out. It made me feel lonely and it made me angry at times. I was never angry with them or even about our situation. I was angry and jealous that my life was not like their lives. I thought it must be so easy to be able to jump from one place to another without having to worry about meltdowns, awkward stares, tears, and planning. A typical family has a plan for days and trips but planning for a special needs family is truly an art.
There was one family specifically that I was always envious of because they had two boys and they were able to do so much. They always were so supportive of our family and included us but from afar, I would always wish to be more like them. I would want to go to outings, games, and celebrations all in one day but it wasn’t in our cards. I remember saying I wish we had “insert their last name here, kind of day.” This family means the world to us and have been one of the most inspirational and supportive friends. My goal was to be more like them. If you would ask this family, they would just look at you like you were crazy if you said that to them. They are true friends and have know idea what they truly mean to us. They were my goal.
We used to say, we could do one event each day. That could mean go to the store, go to my parents house, or an outing but it couldn’t be more than one thing. If it was more than one thing, Dominic would have a difficult time. He would struggle and then we would all struggle. I would pray that someday we could do more than just one thing a day. Don’t get me wrong, I cherished the one event times and the times at home but I always wanted a little more. Isn’t that what we want for all of our children, to keep pushing them to their highest potential and to give them the world?
I will never forget a day that we were able to do two things without a problem. Then we were able to do three. Now with proper previewing, we can do multiple things. I called my friend one day and said, “we had a ‘insert last name here’ kind of day.” Her reply to me was, “I think you need to change that and say, ‘you had a Vorrasi kind of day.” She will never know what she truly has done for me and my family. She will never accept she was my goal.
